I wish there was an easy way to figure out what to do with myself. I don't really want to deal with daycare anymore. I hate being reliant of unreliable people... but at the same time, I am afraid to be away from my kids. I have been home with them since they were born.
If I can work when Shawn is home, then we wouldn't have that issue. And the daycare cost issue. If I split with Shawn, then I can get my daycare paid for and I can finish up what I need to. Might seem kind of rash, but there is more to it than that.
Oh what to do... I hate making choices. I hate waiting for things to fall into place. I wish there was really an
Shawn took my car in for service. They wouldn't give him a rental, because they might have been able to fix it all today... right, whatever. The power steering fluid leaks out like a sieve, the heat blows cold air only from the defroster, and the front end has a loud clunk in it. They called a bit ago to tell me that I can come pick up the rental, because it won't be done today. No kidding. So here I am, with 6 kids... I am not walking.. it is bitter cold, and the road is busy.. they could send a van to pick us up, but... I have 6 kids to bring with me. I would rather eat my own tongue.
I just want to sleep.
2 comments:
I haven't commented in a very long time, but I subscribe to your feed and I read your updates.
I feel bad for what you're going through, I can feel how overwhelmed you are.
My head is in a really bad place. I read about your situation and it makes me feel guilty for feeling bad. I've got my child still, and he's doing well health-wise but dealing with all those survivor challenges and I'm so thankful that we're all here to deal with that stuff but still it's hard.
I'm tired. I live with two kids and two men over 40 but I'm mothering all of them, and I can tell you that many times the kids' challenges are easier than the adults'.
I need another adult in the house and right now I'm the only one. I keep picking everyone up when they fall but now I feel like I'm falling and who will pick me up?
Instead I get blamed for everything that goes wrong.
I'm so tired. I need someone who can think with both halves of their brain.
It has nothing to do with sex, but I need a wife.
Well, Kimberly, as far as a possible job change goes- I say go for it! Youre the strongest person i know, and if anyone can handle the stressful challenge of change- you can. It's scary, but you can do it!
And you've been unhappy with your daycare moms for years, and the state always tripping you up and screwing you over with red tape! Take a chance, I mean, you cant exactly deal with anything worse than you already have...Love, Lisa
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