My friend Nikki.

I graduated from nursing school just last May. I met some people I didn't really like, and I met some that I like a whole lot. Like regular life. I am not the type that hangs out a lot. In fact, I am pretty much a home-body. Lots of kids, and they go everywhere with me.

At first in nursing school I felt very alone. When my daughter's death day came around, I felt more alone. I planned a benefit with my derby league last year and one instructor and one friend from nursing school came. My friend was Nikki. I am really grateful that she took the time one day to keep me from just walking out and not coming back. It made a difference to me. I watched her struggle with her husband leaving because they are a military family... and now sadly, she has said good bye to her husband for the very last time. He got liver cancer. And instead of the 5 years they thought he had, he died in a very, very short time. I wish I could take it away for her.

It's hard to watch. It's hard to relive my own past. It's hard to know, that it could be someone else I love in the future. I struggle with many of the same things that my friends have struggled with trying to help me. There is nothing you can do to make it go away. All you can do is be there.

Hug your loved ones. Life is too short to spend it being angry.

Sicky

Feeling like crap. Blah. I have a game tomorrow for derby. Hopefully, I feel better by tomorrow night. Not really feeling the love, but everyone has those days, I guess.

I won't be in the next few games because I took a vacation, and had to work. The league (I guess, because I don't remember agreeing to this and I am the VP) doesn't allow you to miss more than 2 excused days off. LOL So if you can afford to vacation more than 1 week you are penalized. Quite honestly, I think that if you can't afford to vacation more than 1 week, you are being penalized... so I will happily take the vacation and the time with my family. Just like time off from the kids, and from work. I think taking time off from your hobby, has the potential to make you better at it. And actually, my foot doesn't hurt, my knee feels stronger and I have a clearer head. All good things.

I used to think that I wouldn't get to a point where I was able to just jump in and play. But I think that if I am off for a couple of weeks, it doesn't really seem to affect my game too much. I think that comes from being more fit in general. Not that I think you should be off for 3 months and just start playing, because from what I understand you do lose muscle after that long of inactivity, but that isn't the case for me.

Anyway, so that doesn't really matter for me. I refuse to feel penalized for working my ass off and being able to spend quality time away from home with my spouse and/or my kids. Life is good and I am glad.

We are really hoping to move to Florida this time next year. If I can find a job and he can find a job... I worry that another job won't be as good as this job I currently have. My co-workers are great. They really work together. They aren't really nit picky and will just go to the person if they have a problem. Not all the floors can say that. I don't want to deal with that nit picky BS that I have to deal with in other areas of my life. It sucks the fun out of everything. Anyway, I will keep updated on all that.