I am trying to teach myself to knit. OH LORD.
My eyes no longer focus from near to far quickly... and so after I am looking up close for so long, I can't see for 10 minutes... and then because I like to torture myself, I am trying to knit socks. Nothing like a bunch of stabby double pointed needles all over on your lap. Oh and my fingers hurt...
How long will it take to get the hang of this. Right now, microbiology was easier. Shoot Algebra is easier.
Two months from now, when I am done with this one sock... I will post again, maybe with a picture, but don't count on it.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
The end of the year... is near...
Ahhh nothing changes. I have been avoiding everything again, just this time of the year, I guess. As soon as thing settle down a little I hope to be in the swing of my life again.
I had a daycare mom stop coming. She gave me notice, but she was one of the payers. She was respectful, and I am sad that she is going. She got a new job, and is moving. :(
Now I know I have mentioned these other three that have been coming. Seems that they were added to my file. And now they are off. The mom is working a cash job, and turned in the stuff, but still we hear nothing about the kids being put onto the daycare subsidy so the mom can work. I am just hoping this rectifies soon. I really want to watch these kids. I need the money (who doesn't... ) and I am really sick and tired of having to chase the state for the cash. They recently decided that parents can only get 90 hours instead of a 100 every two weeks. That is down from 120 they could get just 2 years ago. Put the cost back onto the parents who are making $8/hour. Good idea. But I have to make money too, so I have to charge the parents for it.
Then there has been the whole Christmas Eve fiasco in our family. Usually on Christmas Eve we go to my Aunt's house. My mom has 10 siblings, they don't all come, because some live out of state, but it is an annual get together, that the family looks forward too. Everyone there smokes aside from me, but I can get past it, it is only one night a year. We don't get home until 2 am or later usually, but we all have such fun.
So my Aunt tells us this summer that they aren't doing Christmas. Fine. I say, I will do it at my house. They are going to go to Florida this year. Well, the holiday comes around. We plan, we paint, we clean, we call. People say they are coming. We call to get the Santa Suit from my Aunt...and she tells me that they aren't going to go to Florida after all. My other Aunt and this Aunt have had some sort of falling out... and now 2 other families aren't coming to my house, but rather they are doing their own thing. Whatever. My Aunt says she will come and all that.
Christmas Eve comes and no one shows up. Well, I shouldn't say that. My sisters and 1 of my brothers come here. My mil and fil and my bil's family come. Some of my sister's friends come. One of the daycare moms comes over. But none of my mom's family that preempted me doing Christmas Eve here. I have piles of food that I can't use and will be wasted.
Not even a phone call to tell me to Fuck Off. Nothing.
So now, next year, I don't know what is going on. Are we starting a new tradition? Are we going back to the same? I didn't mind that I could breathe the next day. I had a good time regardless of whether it was the same or not. I just don't do well with change, and I want people to be happy and together... but not at the cost of my sanity.
I had a daycare mom stop coming. She gave me notice, but she was one of the payers. She was respectful, and I am sad that she is going. She got a new job, and is moving. :(
Now I know I have mentioned these other three that have been coming. Seems that they were added to my file. And now they are off. The mom is working a cash job, and turned in the stuff, but still we hear nothing about the kids being put onto the daycare subsidy so the mom can work. I am just hoping this rectifies soon. I really want to watch these kids. I need the money (who doesn't... ) and I am really sick and tired of having to chase the state for the cash. They recently decided that parents can only get 90 hours instead of a 100 every two weeks. That is down from 120 they could get just 2 years ago. Put the cost back onto the parents who are making $8/hour. Good idea. But I have to make money too, so I have to charge the parents for it.
Then there has been the whole Christmas Eve fiasco in our family. Usually on Christmas Eve we go to my Aunt's house. My mom has 10 siblings, they don't all come, because some live out of state, but it is an annual get together, that the family looks forward too. Everyone there smokes aside from me, but I can get past it, it is only one night a year. We don't get home until 2 am or later usually, but we all have such fun.
So my Aunt tells us this summer that they aren't doing Christmas. Fine. I say, I will do it at my house. They are going to go to Florida this year. Well, the holiday comes around. We plan, we paint, we clean, we call. People say they are coming. We call to get the Santa Suit from my Aunt...and she tells me that they aren't going to go to Florida after all. My other Aunt and this Aunt have had some sort of falling out... and now 2 other families aren't coming to my house, but rather they are doing their own thing. Whatever. My Aunt says she will come and all that.
Christmas Eve comes and no one shows up. Well, I shouldn't say that. My sisters and 1 of my brothers come here. My mil and fil and my bil's family come. Some of my sister's friends come. One of the daycare moms comes over. But none of my mom's family that preempted me doing Christmas Eve here. I have piles of food that I can't use and will be wasted.
Not even a phone call to tell me to Fuck Off. Nothing.
So now, next year, I don't know what is going on. Are we starting a new tradition? Are we going back to the same? I didn't mind that I could breathe the next day. I had a good time regardless of whether it was the same or not. I just don't do well with change, and I want people to be happy and together... but not at the cost of my sanity.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Ick.
I feel like crap. Stupid cold. At least my Micro class is finished. Just one more week on the online one and I am done until January, where I get to start all over again. And then we go pretty much for the next 20 weeks after that.
I wish there was an easy way to figure out what to do with myself. I don't really want to deal with daycare anymore. I hate being reliant of unreliable people... but at the same time, I am afraid to be away from my kids. I have been home with them since they were born.
If I can work when Shawn is home, then we wouldn't have that issue. And the daycare cost issue. If I split with Shawn, then I can get my daycare paid for and I can finish up what I need to. Might seem kind of rash, but there is more to it than that.
Oh what to do... I hate making choices. I hate waiting for things to fall into place. I wish there was really an button. LOL
Shawn took my car in for service. They wouldn't give him a rental, because they might have been able to fix it all today... right, whatever. The power steering fluid leaks out like a sieve, the heat blows cold air only from the defroster, and the front end has a loud clunk in it. They called a bit ago to tell me that I can come pick up the rental, because it won't be done today. No kidding. So here I am, with 6 kids... I am not walking.. it is bitter cold, and the road is busy.. they could send a van to pick us up, but... I have 6 kids to bring with me. I would rather eat my own tongue.
I just want to sleep.
I wish there was an easy way to figure out what to do with myself. I don't really want to deal with daycare anymore. I hate being reliant of unreliable people... but at the same time, I am afraid to be away from my kids. I have been home with them since they were born.
If I can work when Shawn is home, then we wouldn't have that issue. And the daycare cost issue. If I split with Shawn, then I can get my daycare paid for and I can finish up what I need to. Might seem kind of rash, but there is more to it than that.
Oh what to do... I hate making choices. I hate waiting for things to fall into place. I wish there was really an
Shawn took my car in for service. They wouldn't give him a rental, because they might have been able to fix it all today... right, whatever. The power steering fluid leaks out like a sieve, the heat blows cold air only from the defroster, and the front end has a loud clunk in it. They called a bit ago to tell me that I can come pick up the rental, because it won't be done today. No kidding. So here I am, with 6 kids... I am not walking.. it is bitter cold, and the road is busy.. they could send a van to pick us up, but... I have 6 kids to bring with me. I would rather eat my own tongue.
I just want to sleep.
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