Can't sleep.

For the last couple days, I have been unable to sleep. I can't put a finger on the stressor either. Money issues aren't resolved, but I feel ok about it, and I found someone to watch my kids while I go to school, but even though I am nervous, that isn't either.

Shawn will wake me up when he gets into bed around 3-4 am... and then I can't sleep.

It sucks.

Anyhow.... I recently applied for welfare... foodstamps, medicaid, and daycare help, to be specific. We got approved, and they tell you to keep the cards if you are ever on public assistance, so they don't have to send them out again. I only lost one card... Pie's. So I have to wait for them to reissue it. I kept my food stamp card, and even though the case goes back until the 13th of August, I have to wait for them to send me a NEW CARD before I can even use the food stamps. So we are trying to live off the food we have, knowing that I have money coming just for food. It is getting on my nerves, maybe that is what the stress is. I really just want to be able to go shopping, and fill my cupboards and freezer and have one less thing to worry about.

Oh well.

I got a snap press so I can make diapers that snap instead of using velcro. I have to adjust my pattern now though to accommodate the snaps. I didn't realize what the issues were going to be before I made my first diaper with snaps, and now that I see... well... duh. LOL I can fix the diaper I made, but while it will be functional, it will be sort of like those shirts from the Michael Jackson-Thriller days, with all the zippers... but with snaps instead. Not quite the same affect. LOL Just snaps randomly placed all over the diaper...

I start school on Thursday. 6 weeks of Composition 2, and then 6 weeks of Algebra. WHILE taking Microbiology... in which I need all A's. After classes are finished, I think... "what the hell was I worried about..." but before that I get all nervous about it. I certainly don't want to fail. I don't want to look like a dumb ass, especially since I act like a know-it-all most of the time, LOL. And with Shawn starting school too, I feel like I have to compete with him.

Speaking of Shawn... I found a therapist that deals with families that have members that have high IQ's. Now I know that Shawn had said that he was looking for someone who dealt with that, and me... just looking for a therapist for our marriage, found someone first try, and they are going to waive all our co-pays, so that isn't a consideration anymore either. No real excuses not to go. I am not taking any meds due to breastfeeding, so I really need someone to talk to. I can't talk to Shawn... he isn't a good sounding board, and I hate bothering my friends, because well.. they have their own issues to deal with. I never realised how many people just lived in their shitty, non satisfying relationships. Shit, I don't want to die not being satisfied, and feeling like I gyped myself of being treated kindly, with respect.

We will see how that all goes. Hopefully with Shawn working with this guy, Shawn can get some self worth for himself. Going to school will help him, I think, so long as he doesn't turn it around and start treating me like I am stupid, because he has a verifiable higher than mine IQ. He tends to act like he is better than everyone else, me included.

Anyway, that is all for now. I think I am going to watch some TV. I tend to fall asleep better if the TV is at least on.